Skyrim

Skyrim, or more completely, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim continues the story of imprisoned-and-then-freed destiny-bound heroes of Tamriel, this time located in the frigid north, titular region: Skyrim.

The game was dense, as was the first draft of this review, which I have subsequently broken up into 5 entries (seriously).  Today's post looking at the main story and game mechanics, and subsequent posts dedicated to all the shit that got done in the name of collecting the sweet, sweet platinum trophy.

In media res being a bit of a gameplay-must these days, you start the game as an imprisoned man/woman/whatever on your way to the chopping block - the head chopping block - when you are serendipitously saved by the arrival of a fire-breathing dragon.  Amidst the chaos and fear of behading/being eaten by a dragon, you select your character's gender, race, and appearance.  Unlike the fourth Elder Scrolls entrant, you do not select a sign, have specifically anointed skills, or any of the other things that made that game have an astounding 743 sextillion (a lot) character builds.

The undead are a frequent encounter.

While skills continue to increase as you use them, the leveling system has been redesigned.  Now, gaining progress in any skill will move you towards a level-up, wherein you can increase your health, magicka (magic health), or stamina (swinging axe health).  Upon gaining a level, you are also able to select a perk from one of the skill areas, granted you have reached the requisite experience with that skill.  There are 251 perks in Skyrim, of which you may feasibly select 81 (essentially the "level cap").

I decided to put my perks into archery, sneaking, light armor, and Illusion-magic, which you think might have been setting myself up to be a total badass ninja, but I still chose to confront most conflicts at high velocity while spamming the attack key.

Combat is relatively unchanged from Oblivion, with the main exception in that you can wield magic while simultaneously wielding a weapon, or wield two spells at once.  Spells have also been pretty well nerfed, only dealing a set amount of damage and not able to be customized (a la Oblivion).

So, fresh off of not-being-killed-by-a-dragon, you are given the same mind-numbing freedom common to the Bethesda games: you could literally do anything.  Only a few story-related areas are blocked off, and to be honest - it's nearly impossible to find them, as there is just so much else to do.  The game improves upon Oblivion's compass system, and exploration begins to be "just... one... more... area..." and before you know it, you've mapped most of the locations in Skyrim.

Oh hey girl, lemme shout at you.

Anyway, it just so happens that you are a Dragonborn, a rare 1%-er, born once in every few generations who can absorb the souls of dragons and focus those souls into powerful Thu'ums, or shouts.

While dialogue with townsfolk may lead you to believe that dragons are rare sights anywhere in Tamriel, the reality is that the whole place is lousy with dragons.  And they are dragons: they eat townspeople and their steeds, devastate farms and hovels, and will fuck you up if you aren't equipped with enough healing potions to ward off the inevitable crispy feelings of being burned to death.

One dragon, in particular, plays your chief nemesis.  His purpose is straight black and white fantasy: he destroys worlds.  It's almost refreshing to meet a bad-guy who is really bad.  No tortured childhood.  No on-the-fence attitude.  Dude just wants to obliterate existence.  I can respect that.

The game is great, though the story does have some pacing issues, common to the robust world games like Skyrim.  And that's just the main story.  It was definitely worth the 80 hours I sunk into it, and definitely worth a platinum run.

Always worth it.  Always.

Demo: Quantum Conundrum

Last week, during the sporadic moments of Internet I had access to, I downloaded a couple of game demos to play, punctuating my otherwise unenjoyable X-button mashing quest for a Platinum Trophy is Final Fantasy XIII.

One such demo was that of Quantum Conundrum, previously released on Steam and the XBLA, but also available on the PSN.  Quantum Conundrum is a first-person puzzle game (a genre only recently emerging and with only one other entrant I can think of: Portal) wherein you traverse various rooms, manipulating physics and controlling small objects to push buttons and make way to the room's exit.

If you notice that the description for QC I offered was remarkably close to the one I gave Portal, well, you're right on the money.  However, QC is mostly different from Portal in that it exists in a more cartoony world, the physics you control are environmental, and the narrating voice is male and less malevolent (and voiced by John de Lancie, Star Trek's Q!)

Thanks to a handy device, you are able to modify the properties of the environment around you in one of four ways (only three of which are featured in the demo).  You can enter the Fluffy Dimension, where objects are easy to move around and throw; the Heavy Dimension, were objects are solid, break through glass, and are indestructable (but sadly, is not a dimension populated solely by TF2's Heavy - be still my heart); the Slow Motion Dimension, which I hope does not require additional explanation; and a dimension where gravity reverses itself.

The demo is fun, with nice quips from John de Lancie as you go along.  Definitely worth a grab to see if you'd enjoy it enough for the $15 price tag.

Lightning Strikes Twice: A Second Chance for FFXIII

I was perhaps a little critical in my review of Final Fantasy the Thirteenth (except for the bit about Lightning's hair- which continues to be unnecessarily wrong).  I have recently been replaying the game, and I wanted to give the thing a fair shake of a review.  So here goes.

Brace yourself.  This is going to be intense.

It's still not very good.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (GOTY)

While everyone else is enjoying the fifth installment of The Elder Scrolls, Bethesda's ongoing, Game-of-the-Year winning, fantasy franchise, I'm just now sitting down with the The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - Game of the Year Edition.  I was really shy from getting into the series, because I like my fantasy games like I like my sex life: turn-based and from a third-person perspective.  Just kidding:  I'm married, and no longer have a sex life.

Unlike the traditional genre staples, the Elder Scrolls series are fantasy games from first-person perspective, which dynamically changes everything when it comes to combat strategy, and gives the game an unsurprising sense of immersion.  The engine is painstakingly identical to that of the Fallout series, which makes sense, as the games are made by the same folks.

Full review is happening, after the jump...

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Zelda, half of the titular princesses.

Released in 2006, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was a desperate chance to save the dying Nintendo Gamecube.  While available for purchase on the 'cube, TP found its primary success on the newly arrived Nintendo Wii.

Zelda games are on par with with the Mario Bros. franchise for the well over-used, but I'm happy to report that TP is heads and tails one of the best Zelda games released.

For starters, Twilight Princess delivers an engaging story that is otherwise lost on other titles in the franchise.  The environs are teeming with life, and everything contributes to a well-rounded, purposefully constructed story.

But okay - yes - first we finish 3 tiny dungeons and then expand to whole world to battle our way through 5 more.  Each dungeon contains a specific item that alone can be harnessed to crush the dungeon master, freeing a sage to lock away evil, blah-blah-blah...

What sets TP apart (besides its gorgeous and detailed environment), is the clever twist it takes on the old favorite.  All of the puzzle-based delights are still there, but the robust world of Hyrule delivers opportunities to enhance outside-the-dungeon puzzles.

For the most part, external, world-based pursuits are for collectibles, which TP delivers in spades.


Firstly, with the piece of hearts now split in 5 instead of the usual quarters, there are 45 piece of heart containers to collect and enhance your life bar.

An additional 24 golden bugs can be collected for rupees and to increase the wallet size.

You can fish (which is especially interesting, considering the impending doom).

And finally, in the style since The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, there are hidden enemies to destroy, called Poe's.  Beating one will yield one of 60 Poe's Souls.  Retrieving 20 nets you the fourth bottle, and all 60 gives you access to an endless supply of rupees.

So besides the main story, there's plenty of derping around to do.

Link atop Epona, trusty steed and world traversor.

However, the game is not without its faults.  For starters, there is my typical waggle complaint.  The sword is controlled by a shake of the Wiimote.  It's mostly responsive, but has cost us a wine glass due to my over-enthusiasm.

Using the Wiimote to aim items is also frustrating, because of how far away my couch is from the Wii-sensor.  I don't think our couch is overly far, but - apparently it IS!

All in all, the game is excellent, and makes me excited for The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.

Car 11K - A Second Look at L.A. Noire



Main character, tortured hero dude, Cole Phelps.

 Upon ravishing the Catherine loan from my friend to the point in which I was having dreams about moving cubes around, I decided it was time to give L.A. Noire another run for its money.  I had great things to say about the game, but I wondered if they would hold up under the inflamed scrutiny of a replay; and to add to wanting to give the game a bad review, I decided to do so on a Platinum run.

Though it seems sadistic, my logic was this:

1. If the game was good even if I played it to its extremity, whereby doing everything, then I would feel vindicated in my earlier, positive review.
2. I like trophies, even though I don't understand why sometimes.

Well, looky-looky who has a cookie.  And by cookie, I mean a digital trophy icon representing my completion of the game.

But, did the game live up to its earlier success?  Find out, after the jump...

Donkey Kong Country Returns

You've got to feel bad for Donkey Kong.  The dude was originally cast as a barrel-chunking overlord of a world created of platforms, ladders, and sentient flame.  Later though, DK gained more independence as a go-kart racer, and had his own series of platform games on the SNES called Donkey Kong Country.

Simian miscreant, or domestic violence intervener?

Donkey Kong Country (and its two follow-up iterations) were never bad games, and in fact, represented a good deal of my childhood play-time on the SNES.  The graphics (courtesy of Rare) were crude in today's gameplace, but state of the art when the game was released.

The game focused on DK's loss of his banana stash, because he likes to eat bananas.  So, you know, there was a plot-ish.  Akin to "Save the princess."  In case you were to ask why, the game would glare at you and shout "Because I said so!" and hurtle you into a mini-game.

But games are more sophisticated now, like Donkey Kong Country Returns, which subjects you to some storyline where the volcano on Kong island is inhabited by bad mojo, and the chieftan of bad mojo steals all of your bananas.  Bad mojo chieftans, as we all know, are in constant need of a steady flow of potassium to continue their malicious operations on islands inhabited by Kong on his relatives.

Okay, so the game isn't going to win story of the year, or anything - but we didn't really expect it to.  I craved some 2D, beautifully rendered, platforming!  Donkey Kong Country, the Return of the Jedi was sure to please.  Nintendo practically wrote the book on what a 2D platformer needs to be successful.  But wait, what's this - to kill enemies, I must ... waggle?

Like a hooker clinging to the testicles of a customer who refused to pay for services rendered, Nintendo wants to force every single one of its game experiences to use the motion controls that made the Wii so famous.  Nevermind that when using the nunchuck accessory that I have like 12 buttons, only the joystick, A, and B buttons are used for moving, jumping, and grabbing respectively.  If you want to do your super-neat DK roll, you have to waggle the damn Wii-mote while pushing forward.  Didn't push forward correctly?  You'll ground-pound, or ... blow air?

If you have friends, you can play the game with them.
Then you won't have to worry about having friends anymore!

There are things to collect, which is kind of a fun part of Donkey Kong Country games, but the game play was severely wounded by the inclusion of needed waggling.  The platforming was a huge step back, as well, in my humble opinion.  There was very little strategy involved, and it just wasn't very fun to play.

Okay, it does look good.  I mean, this is exactly what I wanted in looks.  You know, Super Mario Galaxy 3, pretty much.

If you were looking for a game on the Wii that you could play as Donkey Kong for, you may as well just dust off Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which offers way more DK technique and a myriad of better control options.  Or, wait for the next go-kart, party, or olympic sporting game that Nintendo's over-used, tie-wearing mascot could be crammed into next.

Do Better Graphics Make Better Games?

While L.A. Noire (r/gameswap'd for Star Wars: The Force Unleashed and Heavy Rain) and Catherine (friend swapped for Dragon Age: Origins) lie in wait of a playthrough - not to mention the new Dragon Age II DLC and Bioshock 2 DLC I've bought, but haven't played, and the Fallout: New Vegas DLC I've nearly finished and have to review - I spent an inordinate amount of time with Crono Trigger, replaying the 16-bit classic for memories and love.

It forced me to think: do better graphics make a better game?

With new games, graphics are often a huge selling point: the ability to create and immerse a player in distinct and lushish environments is part of what makes the game worth it.  However, indie developers (and some big names, too) have rejected this notion - the simplier, easier times might have a place left after all.  Consider the success of Scott Pilgrim or Megaman 9, which embraced the chunky graphics of old with a new niche.  Or hell, MINECRAFT for that matter.

In fact, there are many times in which the graphical beauty of a game, while pretty to look at, distracts from the game itself.  Form and functionality.

Graphics also deny the player's imagination in the same way television and films do for books.  If the representation I am given of Link in The Legend of Zelda is an 8-bit pixel mess, my mind bridges the difference.  In Twilight Princess, there's nothing for my imagination to do: for the game has done it already.  For a game embracing a concept of realism (Heavy Rain, for example), this is a make-or-break thing, but for fun, and unrealistic worlds, why bother with the realism of the hairs on a man's head if I'm already accepting the disbelief that I can carry seventeen different swords?

16-bit sprites really embody the best of both worlds: enough definition to give you a start, but not so much as to disrupt your imagining of a character.  Maybe that's why Crono Trigger got a chunk of my time.  Or maybe because the graphics were limited, programmers felt more willing (or able) to give the story and dialogue the time they needed to be perfect.